Being African American – hell black. Being Black, I foolishly stuck with my own kind. I don’t know, that’s generally the way it was for black women, gotta keep the black family line going, right? Like all other black women, I of course went through the phases. In the ‘80s you had to be light-skinned, so I would salivate over the Al B Sures and the Christopher Williams (speaking of which, have you seen him lately? Not so much). Then the ‘90s rolled around and LL was EVERYWHERE. MY GOD, what did that man do to his body? He looked so yummy; I even knew straight men who were secretly like ‘dayum.’ Then came 2004 – I started watching HBO’s "The Wire" and my boy Idris Elba came on the scene and I realized, chocolate is definitely in the mix.
But, after a brief stint in Atlanta, Ga. – 6 years to be exact – I am back in my old stopping ground and like a kid in a candy store, I want to touch and taste everything, and this is why New York City is the greatest city in the world.
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
What Traits Are You Willing To Sacrifice In A Relationship?
The List.
The List really just started out as a joke. And it really didn't even start out as a list. It started out with just a word. A statement if you will.
A friend of mine, let's call her - Alicia - Alicia used to have what some may call, 'high expectations' for her mate. She wanted him to make as much money as she did, if not more. She wanted him to have a higher education. She wanted him to be able to speak properly. She wanted him to be tall. She wanted him this. She wanted him that.
So then one day my friend and I turned to Alicia and said, "Well you realistically can't have everything, sooooo, what characteristic or trait will you be willing to sacrifice in a man?"
And that's how it all began. A group of us formally agreed that no matter what, our mate (and for all intents and purposes, 'mate' is defined here as the one you end up with - 'cause hell, under the right conditions we can pretty much date anyone. Am I right or am I right?) our mate HAD to be good in bed - that wasn't even a question. Good sex was something NO ONE was willing to sacrifice. That is why Great Sex is number one on The List. I mean, really, doesn't that say a lot about the chemistry and passion two people have in a relationship? But I digress....
So slowly, The List of Sacrifices grew. It became a part of our lives; day and night all we could think about is adding traits to the Sacrifice List. Once, Alicia called me at 2:00 in the morning and said two words, "Physically Fit."
"What?" I mumbled annoyingly, still half asleep.
"Physically fit. I cannot sacrifice my man being fat - remember DoughBoy?'"
DoughBoy was a moniker we gave a guy Alicia slept with grudgingly. (It saved us from using his actual name - yes women do that too). They dated a hot second. (I use the word 'date' here loosely.) Oh yeah, DoughBoy was a nice guy - it just so happens Alicia was vulnerable at the time, i.e. she hadn't gotten any in a while. Well it turns out, DoughBoy, although cute and nice enough - his good qualities did not outweigh the fact that he had, as Alicia would put it, "rolls upon his
Continue reading on Examiner.com: What traits are you willing to sacrifice in a relationship? - New York Single Women | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/single-women-in-new-york/what-traits-are-you-willing-to-sacrifice-a-relationship#ixzz1LCycbgmO
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